Its what has killed the cat been put on pause.


(Life style changes and clean eating…) It is a commitment to myself that I honor my body and respect its needs. I have ignored for far too long the signs my body was incredibly unstable. I will dive into the changes I see and the changes I want to see. I will share recipes, successes and failures.
After spending the last 8 years focused on a partnership it is high time that my focus is internal. There is a lot of unraveling to do from this time in my life and I will need to be curious to answer the whys. There are many topics I have interest in expressing and am eager to have a platform to present my findings.

This is an excerpt from my very own about page. This was my ambition and determination boiling over. I needed an outlet and I had found it. I have been absent for a month but with no intention to do so. My days have been so full with friends, work, family, good times and mischief. This is nothing to apologize for but an introduction to my lack of attendance. I have taken photos, created recipes, been to venues worth talking about, have been 75% on clean eating diet, have not started insanity (FAIL like… stop talking/dreaming about it and like maybe find something not so daunting that I actually want to do)… but nothing made it to this blog. I am new to this and could try to give myself some credit but then I read back through my posts and can’t help but find my determination motivating. Motivating to just move on.

On my mind now @1 am…

I have learned that I am a person who will always need her vices and a good outlet for energy and creativity. There has always been something about my personality that loves routine and part that loves unpredictability. I have found some sort of balance lately and in this sentence am truly realizing it.

First topic of curiosity, my sign. There are many things to take away from commonalities between people and the impact of the zodiac calendar. I certainly was not raised to believe in this sort of thing but I have spent some time dabbling in astronomy as well as some astrology. I think it is telling of peoples traits but of course there is always room for interpretation. I am a Leo, ruled by the element of fire. I am true to my soul a Leo and have many other Leo friends. I also find that I attract a lot of Aries in my circle, another sign ruled by the element of fire. (This is what I found on Google… The favorable 120° – or 4 signs – spacing between Zodiac signs Leo, Aries, and Sagittarius in the same element makes for an especially harmonious relationship and a level of compatibility well above the norm. So yeah.) There are several other signs that I am compatible with and a few that I am very inharmonious with. The funny thing about the list below is that in true Leo fashion I absolutely believe that there is someone(/ lots of fucking people) who would LOVE the weaknesses I have. I do in fact work on these things often but at the end of the day… I won’t change completely and I can try to be subtle but I will never be anything but me.

Leo Strengths:
– Confident – Ambitious – Generous – Loyal – Encouraging
Leo Weaknesses:
– Pretentious – Domineering – Melodramatic – Stubborn – Vain

Here is the tie in to my second point on curiosity at 1 am… The Leo is very independent but they need something to control and someone to admire them and appreciate them. They are fully capable of being greatly successful on their own but they are much happier if they have an audience and a following of people who look up to them. They would prefer not be alone.

twin lions

People are attracted to Leo’s zest for life and their warm spirit. They have the ability to lift up one’s spirits and provide encouragement when times are rough. Their enthusiasm attracts people, Leos are social butterflies, not because they want to be but because people always naturally gravitate and surround the Leo. Leos are very difficult people to not like, they are usually fairly balanced, realistic people. They never dwell on the past and they will think you are strange if you do. Some Leos might be too caught up in themselves and be very self-centered but they are never too self-absorbed to help anyone who needs it. They pamper their friends and treat them well. A Leo is the ultimate friend. They do not hold a grudge and they are very forgiving. They have respect and understanding of people’s differences.

#as #tall #as #lions

Secondly, I am thinking about what my routine has become and how my vices have changed so… As of late my outlet has been social experiences, honestly surprising. I have always thought of myself as an introvert and have no idea why any longer. In reality, how could that have been the case? Working in the field I do with so much customer service my entire working existence, how could I possibly be introverted? Looking back this tendency was definitely a learned trait and force of environment. Near the end I remember thinking no matter the situation when we went anywhere new and met any new group, I always/completely won everyone over and this gave me a boost. That may be a piece of the difficulty to separate, everyone loved us, everyone in his life loved me, everyone in my life loved liked him. I know he loved how I was chose to be socially and how I could totally work a crowd. I held back so many times in situations I didn’t want to be in with him…situations where I should have been acting more 20’s, had I been single I would have been the life of the party and having the time of my life. We never “went out” anymore, we didn’t participate in much outside of the routine. I was so completely uncomfortable in my own skin and had no idea what to do with my complete lack of confidence and crushed spirit.

I don’t think I do that…
Leo loves the new and extraordinary, they despise dull, regular routines and if this is what they are faced with, they will simply create their own drama and excitement.

I guess I have to admit, I started it for sure this month. It has been real and the time of my life. I hit the 100 day mark and there really was no looking back or sad feelings. My curiosity urges me to keep digging but I know that I’m not even slightly interested in what I would discover. Maybe that’s my pretentious, melodramatic and vain side but I was too generous, too loyal and too ambitious in my past to not be a completely confident LION today.

Lion of a different color by LucasPorettiArt on Etsy

SPRINGbreak- woowho!

In my line of work this month is perfection in only one regard, it is good to take time away. The pace is slower, business is slower, my stress is high. Another motivation to take time off was the holiday I look forward to all year, every year- 420.


So many reviews coming!


Over the mountain and through the woods…



    1. You gotta love a friend who loves to mix a great drink and share! This recipe comes from the beautiful mind of my bottom bitch. TOTALLY worth the long drive.

    2. ADD Silver Tequila, fresh lime and citrus juice, triple sec, jalapeño simple syrup*, chopped mango muddle into the glass and ice.



    1. Rockin’ Daves Bagel Bistro & Catering Co is a Bend, OR breakfast and lunch deli-style restaurant located on the East side. Scratch-deli with a variety of award-winning boiled bagels, signature sandwiches and soups, espresso, beer, wine, liquor- they boast best bloody Mary in Bend, try the bloody Mary with a thick slice of bacon. I have to confess Lily and I both skipped it on account of the alcohol still in our bodies #shameful. Also, their house made hot sauces are worth mentioning, try them on everything.

    2. I partook twice while visiting. The first visit was pre-sun bathing along the Deschutes river after a long night of drinking downtown- the night also involved a twerkfest…so you understand the need to replenish. I went for the daily special breakfast burrito and got through half. Not to worry I found time to finish it post river. It involved turkey, portabella mushrooms, artichoke hearts, arugula and goat cheese. AMAZING. My second visit happened the day I left because of the Oh Nelly that Lily had #firstround! It is a delicious take on salmon and locks with wild smoked salmon, cucumber, tomato and red onion with a smoked salmon and dill cream cheese on your choice of house made bagel. Again, AMAZING. #notcleaneating #worthit

IMG_20150419_115429     20150421_090556


    1. If it was not obvious enough, starting the day off with a great breakfast is always on my agenda. To prepare for our disc golf adventure we hit up downtown Bend for breakfast at Bad Wolf. Between the 4 of us, including 1 local restaurant chef and 1 very hard to impress foodie, everyone was satisfied. Both by the food, environment and the service. They also offer a full service bar which they stock with house made infused alcohols (Learned this is a Bend staple in any credible establishment- beer on tap, wine, full bar, espresso, coffee… soon who knows weed selection). The casual environment, espresso machine and pastries on the counter give it a coffee shop vibe. I was so impressed with the art work they displayed. Each piece is made made with coffee, beer or wine as the ink. AMAZING work. Wish I had an extra $200 for it!
      20150420_10300020150420_105011 (2)    

    2. The breakfast and lunch menu are  both scrumptious looking. I will have to return for a cocktail and the Braised Kale & Bacon Sandwich- braised kale and bacon topped with smoked and pickled onions and cranberry aioli, served on a locally made brioche bun. Sounds perfect. I kept it simple with the breakfast sandwich- 1 cage free egg cooked over-head, apple wood smoked bacon, kale and pickled red onion served on a warm biscuit with sweet potatoes and goat cheese. So AMAZING! The chicken fried steak and biscuits and gravy also made it to our table. The best tasting plate went to the special Rustic Benedict-  Bacon maple SCONE open faced with bacon, poached eggs and smothered in hollandaise sauce with sweet potatoes on the side.
      BAD WOLF (2)


    1. This was my first time playing disc golf and I am in love! The leisurely pace and long distance walking provided the perfect chill activity this 420. We played at Pine Nursery Disc Golf Course in the magnificent high desert of Bend, OR. This is a great site with information about Bend, OR disc golf. If you are curious about playing, check out the official rules from the PDGA.



    1. Bend, OR has become very relevant in the craft beer scene nationally and is one of Oregon’s best places to experience NW beer. The famous Ale Trail is on my bucket list 2015** and Worthy Brewing is a stop along the way. Their facility is impressive with a full service, large restaurant, brewery and hop garden on site. Their patio is excellent with lights, lots of space and a fire pit.

    2. I had the Worthy Imperial IPA ” Big, bold and worldly without being imperious, this hop rocket offers a smooth ride into the ether where the angels await with open arms. Hop lovers rejoice! Eight Willamette Valley hop varieties – count ‘em: 8. We dry-hopped the bejeesuz into this aromatic wonder.  A mouth-watering 5.5 pounds of hops per barrel.” Although good, this summary does the beer no justice. I literally wreaked of hops. BOMB.AMAZING.COM


Jalapeno simply syrup* was made by my BB. Here is a recipe on how to get it done!
bucket list 2015** future post


Lucky to Be in First!

Here I am.


Two weeks eating clean and I am feeling noticeably better overall and feeling especially more rested and energized. Lost a little weight so that’s bomb. I will admit I struggled and did not succeed at all my goals. There was a lot of life happening around here and a girl needs to get out. Regardless of this I still made 85% better choices, not a bad start. Next is getting my shit together for the Insanity phase coming up after SPRINGbreak. Its about to get really real.

Clean Eating so far…


  • Making Soup was clutch. This made a lot of meals so simple during the cleanse

  • I think I finally adjusted to eating smaller portions and more frequently- or at least more consistently

  • Having a plan in the morning for the day eliminates a lot of issues

  • Going grocery shopping and planning multiple uses for things helped

  • Not drinking was hard. I made it through 5 days clean, went out Saturday… but pretty successful. Stuck to vodka soda with lime and danced lots


  • Stuffed chicken breast is super easy and so flavorful. I made a delicious recipe for Wine Water Wednesday that I adjusted slightly with a goat brie and garlic in the saute. I tossed some arugula with kale, lemon, parm, tomato and basil for a salad. I made this again on Saturday night before we went out

  • Being able to come home on my lunch hour is awesome. Prevents me from getting the “healthiest” thing at the food court

For now I am focused on losing 30 more lbs for a total of 60. This will bring me back to my healthiest weight but is by no means about a number. One major epiphany I had this week was that I truly do love my body. I am not pleased with some aspects of it but really appreciate the direction it is going and all its curves. (And it has been a long time since someone appreciated it.) This weekend I went out in a crop top and high waist skirt. Unreal how confident I felt and the attention I got. The two go hand in hand but never did I think my ass would be out in a crop top. Ridiculous. I am sure it is not the last time, I see lots of crop tops in my future post Insanity.

2015-04-13 20.17.51 (2)Feeling like a bad bitch in my leather and tats all out.

RECIPE- Stuffed acorn squash

Cheese stuffed acorn squash (2)

A theme is happening here… I like to stuff veggies with delicious ingredients, clearly meat and cheese is top of the list. Here is a yummy and quick recipe for stuffed acorn squash.

Ingredient list



1 lb lean organic ground meat of your choice
1 or so chopped garlic clove
1 chopped sweet onion
Sea salt and crushed red pepper
1 tbsp Grape seed oil*
A few tbsp chopped rosemary
1 acorn squash
Sliced cheese**


2 tbsp Greek yogurt
Chopped rosemary
Juice from 1/2 lemon
Salt and peeper to taste


Turn the oven on to 375º degrees
Brown the meat with other ingredients
Prep the squash by slicing in half and removing seeds
Drizzle grape seed oil over the squash and season with pepper and light salt
Add sliced cheese to the bottom of the squash and fill with meat mixture


Cook for 20-30 min covered with foil and then check the tenderness of squash. Depending on the size and softness, cook uncovered for another 15-20 min. Remove from oven when squash is tender when poked with a knife.


*Grape seed oil is my favorite for a few reasons. The main selling point for me is the light natural taste that doesn’t compete with other flavors in your dish. Also, it can be heated up to 425 degrees, much higher then EVOO. It has 14 g of fat but only 1.5g saturated
** I found a piece of cheese in the leftover bin at Whole foods, a sort of cheddar with a blue cheese center. I am way underselling it and you can use what ever you like. It wasn’t a lot of cheese but it gave so much flavor to the dish.

RECIPE- Bell pepper mushroom soup

Bell Mushroom Soup (2)

Part of a good body cleansing is eating foods easy to digest. Liquids, gentle soups, less complex foods etc. I really enjoy a brothy soup in the morning or for lunch, filling and nutritious but not a lot to it- with that being said, this was not exactly it. When I make this recipe again I will substitute the jasmine rice for another starch (Not noodles or quinoa, I am thinking sweet potato) The result was not as brothy as I hoped but was delicious. The yield was massive and I almost got through all of it. Here’s what I did.

Ingredient list


1 lb lean organic ground meat of your choice
2 chopped garlic cloves
1 chopped sweet onion
Sea salt, pepper and crushed red pepper
1 tbsp Grape seed oil*
A few tbsp chopped rosemary, sage and thyme


2 containers of low sodium, organic, free range chicken broth
1 container refilled with water
1 lb mushrooms, chopped however you like, I like large pieces
2 cups chopped carrots
1 cup Jasmine rice
4 bell peppers sauteed with spices and garlic (added in the last 15 min)
Garnish with shredded parmigiano cheese


Brown the meat with other ingredients in a large skillet
In a large stock pot, add the broth, water, mushrooms and carrots
Once it boils, turn the temperature to medium low and add the rice and browned meat
In the skillet saute bell peppers with salt, pepper, garlic and more crushed red pepper if you like it spicy
Let the soup cook until the rice is soft and add the bell peppers


Cook on low for another 15 to 20 minutes and turn off heat. Serve with shredded parmigiano cheese.



*Grape seed oil is my favorite for a few reasons. The main selling point for me is the light natural taste that doesn’t compete with other flavors in your dish. Also, it can be heated up to 425 degrees, much higher then EVOO. It has 14 g of fat but only 1.5g saturated

And do it.

As I reviewed my 7 day challenge there were a lot of good practices that I am excited to implement. I am also looking forward to the accountability factor. When it comes down to the actual food and diet choices, I will be able to go further. Doing this diet makeover single and cooking for one makes it simple to eat even cleaner. I can be happy with a few purple kale leafs filled with tuna salad and topped with some unsalted sunflower seeds. Point is, I have no excuse to not follow through on my commitment and my words.


I started by reading up on tips for clean eating. Take away was I would need to build a full meal plan with breakfast, a snack, lunch, a snack and dinner. This came together on paper and followed by a grocery list. My main motivation while planning this weeks food was budget, I wanted to spend like $85.

Meal plan


Day 1
Breakfast- 1 boiled egg, 1 apple
Snack- Greek yogurt with blueberries
Lunch- Tuna Mix*, 3 purple kale leafs, topped with sunflower seeds and parm
Snack-1 boiled egg
Dinner- Roasted veggies
Day 2
Breakfast- 2 eggs over medium, 1/2 avocado, sauteed purple kale with garlic
Snack- Fresh Juice; Carrot, grapefruit, ginger
Lunch- Soup**
Snack- 1 apple
Dinner- 1 oven baked chicken breast with fresh herbs, roasted broccoli
Day 3
Breakfast- 1 boiled egg
Snack- Greek yogurt with blueberries
Lunch- Soup**
Snack- 1 apple
Dinner-1 oven baked chicken breast with fresh herbs, roasted squash
Day 4
Breakfast- 2 eggs over medium, 1/2 avocado, sauteed purple kale with garlic
Snack- Fresh Juice; Carrot, grapefruit, ginger
Lunch- Soup**
Snack- 1 apple
Dinner- 1 oven baked chicken breast with fresh herbs, purple kale, tomato, carrot salad with lemon juice and parm
Day 5
Breakfast- 1 boiled egg, 1 apple
Snack- Greek yogurt with blueberries
Lunch- 1 can plain Tuna, purple kale, tomato, carrot salad with lemon juice and parm
Snack- 1 boiled egg
Dinner- Soup**
Day 6
Breakfast- 2 eggs over medium, 1/2 avocado, sauteed purple kale with garlic
Snack- Fresh Juice; Carrot, grapefruit, ginger
Lunch- Purple kale, tomato, carrot salad with lemon juice and parm
Snack- 1 apple
Dinner- Stuffed acorn squash***
Day 7
Breakfast- 1 boiled egg, 1 apple
Snack- Greek yogurt with blueberries
Lunch- Acorn squash*** left overs
Snack- 1 boiled egg
Dinner- Salmon roasted with herbs and veggies

MY WORK BREAKFAST- easy to go and to prep.


Grocery List

Eggs- brown, free range, vegetarian, farm raised, 1 dozen ( I already had 1/2 dozen)
Chicken breasts, 4 large (Did not buy the organic etc., went for the on sale store brand but would have if budget allowed)
Greek yogurt****, 35.3 oz tub 0%
Organic fresh parmigiano, shredded not grated
Organic blueberries, 1 pint
Organic carrots, 1 lb bag whole large
Organic lemon, 4 large
Organic zucchini
Organic brussel sprouts
Green bell pepper, 2 large
Red bell pepper, 2 large
Organic avocado, 1 (I already had 1 other)
Organic purple kale, 2 large bundles (May need more)
Organic gala apples, 7
Organic grapefruit, 3
Ginger root, 2 inches or so
Sweet potato, 2
Organic acorn squash, 1 large
Salmon (I am waiting to buy this until day 7 so it is fresh, and I also get paid that day)
(Already had 2 cans of organic, albacore tuna, the sunflower seeds and mustard)

*Tuna mix;1 can organic tuna, 1/2 avocado, 2 tbs Dijon mustard, sea salt, fresh herbs, 1 tbs Greek yogurt- smash it all together. Great in a wrap, sandwich but my favorite is with giant kale.


**Soup recipe here!
***Acorn squash recipe here!
****Greek Yogurt

Challenge starts MONDAY


I am a competitor and there is truly nothing I hate more then losing (Well maybe it is being told what to do). This focus has attributed to my success in business and it is motivation I have taken to the max in the past. When asked, what do you HATE more, winning or losing? I had to take some time to answer honestly. I came to the conclusion that ultimately in the moment I would have more of an emotional reaction to losing then winning. I LOVE TO WIN. I LOVE TO BE RIGHT. I LOVE TO HAVE THE UPPER HAND. Loosing though, I just can’t get over it (This reflection is making me think of my failed relationship. It makes me wonder if the time it took us to separate had been influenced by mine or his desire to not lose.) All I can be sure of now is, SHE WILL LOSE. Killswitch dame is down to win and won’t risk a loss. I know my old self as the quote goes and I know my weaknesses. The question is, how much further will I go then she ever did? Challenge* starts MONDAY.


Things to eliminate-

  •  alcohol- I know, how? Its going to be the toughest part of my change in lifestyle. I ultimately will allow myself a drink a few nights a week but as of now I need to get away from multiple drinks, every night. During the challenge and the following month during the work out phase, i.e. Insanity, I will limit all drinking. Who knows, maybe once I shake the habit it will be easy. Doubt it but I will stay clear of beer or any alcohols made from grain. So RED WINE 🙂
  • dairy- not super tough since I eat this way already but there are a few things… I am going to keep Greek yogurt but only eat organic with no added sugar. I have cream in my coffee once or twice a day and will eliminate this during the challenge and see how I feel. If I notice a difference I will not reintroduce it during the work out portion but if I do not notice a difference I will try it in the mix and see how I feel. Cheese won’t kill me but I think shredded parm is the best option.
  • anything processed or premade- again not super hard but will take some extra intention and attention. No slips and no foods I am not the creator of. No late night snack grabs and no no mac n’ cheese. The main thing here is planning and planning some more. Having the foods ready to take to work and knowing what I am making for dinner before I get off work (And then not compromising, or just hitting happy hour).

Pretty simple and straight forward. Sunday I will shop for some groceries and make an easy to follow weekly meal plan that I will post. If you have other questions about clean eating I have some additional information on my WHY page or use your google.

*Clean eating challenge on facebook- Clean Eating & Meal Planning Bootcamp Starts Monday March 30th


RECIPE- Mini Stuffed Bells

Mini Stuffed Bells (2)

This recipe came to me this week after thawing out a pound of ground moose. Now I understand that moose is a bit odd but a little back story- my dad went on a Canadian moose hunt with life long friends this past Fall and they successful took down a massive moose (the largest extant species in the deer family). I am blessed with a freezer full of fresh, truly organically grown, lean moose meat. Definitely clean eating! After pulling some ground meat out without a plan I also realized I had a huge bag of mini sweet bell peppers and no plan on preventing them from going bad (Not a single person thing to buy). Whats better then stuffed bell peppers? Miniature and conveniently hand held stuffed bell peppers. Here is the recipe I came up with along with some learning’s.

Ingredient list



1 lb lean organic ground meat of your choice
1 or so chopped garlic clove
Sea salt and crushed red pepper
1 tbsp Grape seed oil*
1/2 a bag of mini sweet bell peppers


3/4 cup Jasmine white rice
3 oz. (half of the jar or so) Artichoke brushetta**
1/4 cup or so of fresh shredded parmigiano


20150324_193449_resizedCook the rice, I love my rice cooker!

Turn the oven on to 350º degrees
Brown the meat with other ingredients
Prep the peppers by cutting the tops off and removing the seeds and veins****


In the bottom of a big bowl add the artichoke bruchetta. After the meat and rice has cooled add this on top and then top with the parm


All that is left is stuffing the peppers (I ended up just using my hands) and pop them into the oven. Cook for 20-30 min.


*Grape seed oil is my favorite for a few reasons. The main selling point for me is the light natural taste that doesn’t compete with other flavors in your dish. Also, it can be heated up to 425 degrees, much higher then EVOO. It has 14 g of fat but only 1.5g saturated.
** I picked this up at our local New Seasons natural market. I chose it because it had red and yellow bell peppers in the mix as well as capers. Also, I wanted something to give the lean meat a binder with the rice and didn’t want to just use more oil.
*** When it was all settled, I ended up only needing HALF of the filling. I kept the other half as a breakfast treat and put some eggs over easy on top. Also, saute some kale and add that to the breakfast plate, YUM.
**** I tried a few techniques to cutting these. In the end I liked stuffing the ones that were left whole, not cut down the side. It was not easy to get all the seeds out of some of the flatter ones so this is why I cut them down the side. Ehh, overall they all tasted great, some stuffing just fell out on to the pan while cooking the slit ones.


Jumping in.

Thank you for finding my new blog!

Welcome, my hope is that you find my message motivating and real. I am starting a journey to become the woman I want to be and you have just jumped on board. Please see my WHY page.

You will find #1– heath tips, tricks and realizations #2– restaurant, bar, shopping, adventures in the outdoors and life reviews in PDX #3 moments of learning and moments of teaching, overall necessary growth.