…Its what has
killed the cat been put on pause.
(Life style changes and clean eating…) It is a commitment to myself that I honor my body and respect its needs. I have ignored for far too long the signs my body was incredibly unstable. I will dive into the changes I see and the changes I want to see. I will share recipes, successes and failures.
After spending the last 8 years focused on a partnership it is high time that my focus is internal. There is a lot of unraveling to do from this time in my life and I will need to be curious to answer the whys. There are many topics I have interest in expressing and am eager to have a platform to present my findings.
This is an excerpt from my very own about page. This was my ambition and determination boiling over. I needed an outlet and I had found it. I have been absent for a month but with no intention to do so. My days have been so full with friends, work, family, good times and mischief. This is nothing to apologize for but an introduction to my lack of attendance. I have taken photos, created recipes, been to venues worth talking about, have been 75% on clean eating diet, have not started insanity (FAIL like… stop talking/dreaming about it and like maybe find something not so daunting that I actually want to do)… but nothing made it to this blog. I am new to this and could try to give myself some credit but then I read back through my posts and can’t help but find my determination motivating. Motivating to just move on.
On my mind now @1 am…
I have learned that I am a person who will always need her vices and a good outlet for energy and creativity. There has always been something about my personality that loves routine and part that loves unpredictability. I have found some sort of balance lately and in this sentence am truly realizing it.
First topic of curiosity, my sign. There are many things to take away from commonalities between people and the impact of the zodiac calendar. I certainly was not raised to believe in this sort of thing but I have spent some time dabbling in astronomy as well as some astrology. I think it is telling of peoples traits but of course there is always room for interpretation. I am a Leo, ruled by the element of fire. I am true to my soul a Leo and have many other Leo friends. I also find that I attract a lot of Aries in my circle, another sign ruled by the element of fire. (This is what I found on Google… The favorable 120° – or 4 signs – spacing between Zodiac signs Leo, Aries, and Sagittarius in the same element makes for an especially harmonious relationship and a level of compatibility well above the norm. So yeah.) There are several other signs that I am compatible with and a few that I am very inharmonious with. The funny thing about the list below is that in true Leo fashion I absolutely believe that there is someone(/ lots of fucking people) who would LOVE the weaknesses I have. I do in fact work on these things often but at the end of the day… I won’t change completely and I can try to be subtle but I will never be anything but me.
– Confident – Ambitious – Generous – Loyal – Encouraging
– Pretentious – Domineering – Melodramatic – Stubborn – Vain
Here is the tie in to my second point on curiosity at 1 am… The Leo is very independent but they need something to control and someone to admire them and appreciate them. They are fully capable of being greatly successful on their own but they are much happier if they have an audience and a following of people who look up to them. They would prefer not be alone.
People are attracted to Leo’s zest for life and their warm spirit. They have the ability to lift up one’s spirits and provide encouragement when times are rough. Their enthusiasm attracts people, Leos are social butterflies, not because they want to be but because people always naturally gravitate and surround the Leo. Leos are very difficult people to not like, they are usually fairly balanced, realistic people. They never dwell on the past and they will think you are strange if you do. Some Leos might be too caught up in themselves and be very self-centered but they are never too self-absorbed to help anyone who needs it. They pamper their friends and treat them well. A Leo is the ultimate friend. They do not hold a grudge and they are very forgiving. They have respect and understanding of people’s differences.
Secondly, I am thinking about what my routine has become and how my vices have changed so… As of late my outlet has been social experiences, honestly surprising. I have always thought of myself as an introvert and have no idea why any longer. In reality, how could that have been the case? Working in the field I do with so much customer service my entire working existence, how could I possibly be introverted? Looking back this tendency was definitely a learned trait and force of environment. Near the end I remember thinking no matter the situation when we went anywhere new and met any new group, I always/completely won everyone over and this gave me a boost. That may be a piece of the difficulty to separate, everyone loved us, everyone in his life loved me, everyone in my life
loved liked him. I know he loved how I was chose to be socially and how I could totally work a crowd. I held back so many times in situations I didn’t want to be in with him…situations where I should have been acting more 20’s, had I been single I would have been the life of the party and having the time of my life. We never “went out” anymore, we didn’t participate in much outside of the routine. I was so completely uncomfortable in my own skin and had no idea what to do with my complete lack of confidence and crushed spirit.
I don’t think I do that…
Leo loves the new and extraordinary, they despise dull, regular routines and if this is what they are faced with, they will simply create their own drama and excitement.
I guess I have to admit, I started it for sure this month. It has been real and the time of my life. I hit the 100 day mark and there really was no looking back or sad feelings. My curiosity urges me to keep digging but I know that I’m not even slightly interested in what I would discover. Maybe that’s my pretentious, melodramatic and vain side but I was too generous, too loyal and too ambitious in my past to not be a completely confident LION today.